Abusers Are Habitual Liars.

 

If you are involved with an abusive person, you must learn and master how to process his/her speech rightly. The truth of an abuser is more often than not a lie. The aim of an abuser is to destroy, damage, deceive, control, manipulate and oppress the person he/she is abusing. To be able to do all these, he/she must get that person ( the victim) to believe his/her lies. So the abuser attacks the self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and dignity of the abused, through derogatory words and actions.

 

Gradually chipping away the victim's emotional and mental health. The abuser makes the abused feel like a nobody (irrelevant, useless, unworthy, unattractive),a liability and a hang on. In no time, the abused starts feeling that the abuser is doing him/her a huge favour by managing him/her as a partner. The abused becomes totally dependant on the abuser, having been stripped of his/her individuality, faith in self and all healthy feelings for self. That is when a victim starts rationalising the abuse, holding him or her self responsible for the vicious attacks the abuser constantly unleash. The victim becomes a willing captive that takes up the blame for the abuse. He or she has been conditioned overtime (without being aware of it) to believe that he/she deserves to be ill-treated and abused.

 

But with time, through relationship with other people, or  by re- connecting  with someone from the past, a victim becomes aware of the drastic negative change that had occurred in him or her which usually prompt a self re-evaluation and assessment.

 

It will serve a victim well while trying to sort out issues,  to believe the opposite of whatever the abuser say about his/her person. If the abuser say that you are ugly,  he or she is saying you are handsome/beautiful. If the abuser says you are worthless and useless, he or she is saying that you are priceless and deserves better. If the abuser says "you cannot make it without me", he or she actually means "You can do without me and I'm scared of that fact."

 

Being able to see through an abuser's lies will help a victim to know the truth and be empowered by the truth. Stop believing the lies of an abuser. You are an asset and a world changer.

 

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!