Stop giving men money

Men by nature are very territorial, with a high sense of pride in their roles as provider, protector and head. Strongly tied to their identity is the performance of these roles.  A woman that wants the love and respect of her man must always keep this truth in mind while dealing with issues that affects the performance of these roles.

A lot of women love their men wrongly. They love him to death. Or to put it in a better way, they love his love for them out of him.  What do I mean? I'll explain myself. There is nothing wrong in loving your man. Nothing wrong in helping him financially. Nothing wrong in giving to him, as long as you do this with understanding.

If you are in a position to assist your man financially, instead of giving him fish, teach him how to fish and link him to the pond where to fish. Empower him to be the man God created him to be and let him find himself in the process. Don't keep handing him fish, feeding his hunger but stripping him of his dignity and pride in the process.  He will not love you for this but will resent you.  If you continue doing the same thing over a long period of time, his resentment will turn into hatred.

Also, don't take up his responsibilities at home and expect him to be grateful and appreciative. You are practically taking over his identity and you expect him to be happy? He cannot be. All the love, regards,  appreciation, and privileges attached to these duties goes to you instead of to him, how can you expect him to be okay with that? If you are in his shoes, would you be? You remove the balls of your man when you take over his duties because he is not financially capable.

Instead of doing that, support him to be able to earn more. Empower him. Invest into his business, work, endeavours, skills etc. Then let him use the money he makes from his sweat/efforts to take care of you and the children. He will appreciate and love you for helping him to be able to do this. Except if he is not a good man.

Love with knowledge women. Stop feeding your husbands. Help them to be able to feed themselves and the family. That is the help men will appreciate, love and reward.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!