Sunday 10 April 2016

Love Making, Sex, Assaault


Love making is a duty of love in marriage. It's something we are to do willingly and lovingly. The husband and wife must never forget that the claim of ownership they mutually exercise over one another is given in love, and it is with love that they'll continue the legitimate use of it.

The moment a man/woman stops giving regards to his/her wife's/husband's needs, feelings and dignity, sexual relation between them stops being "Love-making" and it becomes "sex".

Sex is not bad, though it's not the same as love making. However, care, respect and a measure of satisfaction can still be derived from sex, so we can call it second best to love making.

However, the same carelessness that deteriorated the sexual relationship of husband and wife from love making to sex will deteriorate the relationship between them further from sex to sexual abuse/assault where one spouse exert control, domination, and the other spouse becomes passive and  oppressed.

Sexual relation is not fun without love, respect, care and consideration. A man/woman who has vowed to give his/her body to his/her spouse has every right to revoke such right if it's being abused or/ and misused.

Because the promise of access was given based on the existence of the fundamental principles of trust, integrity, love, agreement and mutual respect. Once these principles are no longer in place, the terms of the sexual relationship / marriage has been violated/broken, and there is need for a re-negotiation. If during the re-negotiation, the parties are able to reach an agreement, good.  If not, they are better off going their separate ways, till they come to a mutually acceptable conclusion.

There is no point making a bad situation worse. If an unfavourable situation can still be managed, it should be managed by all means. But if a situation is unmanageable, stop suffering in silence and effect the necessary change(s) needed.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!

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