HOSEI WOMEN - DO NOT CONDONE ABUSE

When abuse is not confronted and resisted, it takes over the relationship/marriage and destroys it. One major reason perpetrators of abuse become brazen in inflicting abuse is because they know their victims will cover up the abuse. Perpetrators use the embarrassment and shame of the victim as a weapon to their advantage. They know their abuse is not only causing the victim pain, he/she is also highly ashamed of it and will do anything to prevent further humiliation, even if it means covering up the proofs that could be used against their tormentors.

This knowledge gives the abuser security. The abuser knows that he/she will not be held accountable for his/her actions. So a woman that is being physically abused by her husband goes around telling people she fell or had an accident when asked about the bruises on her body. A woman that is being financially abused by her partner goes around looking for money to borrow to meet a family need in order to cover up her husband's irresponsibility. Some even borrow and hand over the money to the irresponsible man so that people will think he is responsible.

A man being abused by the refusal of the wife to perform her wifely duties goes out of his way to present a happy man's face to people so they will not be aware of his marital ordeal.

The list can go on and on. The point is covering up the abusive deeds of a partner is a mistake on all counts. When a victim does that, he/she is not only putting the nails to his/her coffin, the abuser is also being denied the chance to get help for his/her problem.

It's high time we acknowledged that abusive partners have a problem that needs to be dealt with for the good of all concerned. As long as we keep treating them as normal human beings, excusing their inhuman actions, we are unknowingly condoning their actions. Whether out of embarrassment, humiliation, protection or orientation, we need to stop covering up abuse. Speak out. Let the abuser understand you'll not encourage or condone the abuse in anyway. A victim might not have control over the abuse, but he/she has total control over his/her response/attitude towards the abuse. That's the power of the victim; and this power if used right, will eventually put an end to the abuse.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!