Till today, I am not sure of the reason(s) that made me not to confide in my mother about the things Brother Samu was doing with me earlier than I did. I've always had a good relationship with her. She never gave me any reason to fear or hide things from her. So you can imagine how confusing it has been trying to remember what made my six year old self keep the terrible experience she was going through to herself for some time before finally telling her mummy. Why didn't I tell my mummy the first time it happened?
Maybe I was so traumatized by each experience, my little girl mind wanted to pretend it wasn't happening. Or maybe I knew in my subconscious that what Broda Samu was doing with me was wrong and I wanted to protect him from my parents' wrath. Or maybe I was afraid of being punished in case I was judged to be wrong. I really don't know why I kept quiet about the abuse for a while before eventually confiding in my mother. Whatever might have been the reason, the truth is there are many little girls that are going through similar experiences presently, who are not confiding in their mummies or anyone else. They are keeping quite like I did. Silently hoping someone will notice that something is wrong, and will help them put a stop to the trauma.
It falls on parents, especially mothers to be pro-active and mentor their daughters from the time they are old enough to talk. Don't wait till they start school before you educate them about their bodies, their right of protection from being violated, how they can be violated, what they should do when someone touches or rubs their bodies inappropriately. Tell them never to be ashamed or frightened to confide in you, no matter who the offender is.
For those that have experienced molestation, kindly read the article I posted yesterday.
There are some things mothers can train their daughters on to reduce the possibility of people taking advantage of them.
1. Discourage them from sitting on men's laps.
2. Discourage them from collecting sweets and food indiscriminately.
3. Don't ask anyone you do not trust to bath or dress them.
4. Don't leave them in the care of people you cannot vouch for.
5. Don't allow them to be unsupervised when they go visiting.
6. Above all, for no matter how careful you are as a parent, you cannot totally shield or protect your children from abuse. Some people while over protecting their children, have actually unknowingly facilitated their children's abuse.
We must keep in mind that nowadays, it's not only female children that are vulnerable to abuse, male children are equally being molested and abused.
I believe the way to save these young ones, after ensuring all the protective measures are put in place, is to maintain a trust-based closeness with our children through which we will encourage them to tell us everything, whether they consider it relevant or not. You'll be surprised how much you'll get to know about your children and what they go through if you can successfully get them to tell you everything. It's a lot of work, dedication and time, but I assure you it'll be worth every investment you make. Your children are your future.
Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!
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