HOSEI WOMEN - RESIST DESPERATION

It bothers me when I talk with women and I see the desperate approach they have towards romantic relationships and marriage. There is this do or die attitude we have about hooking and keeping a man that destroys the whole purpose and essence of a healthy relationship/marriage. Marriage is not and should not be a do or die thing. People should marry only when they meet someone they are compatible with. But what do we have nowadays? While men are goal oriented, focused and choosy about who they date and marry without entertaining any form of sentiments, women are desperately selling themselves cheap, compromising on necessary standards, over-compensating and doing all kinds of things that portray them as desperate and unworthy.

I see beautiful, well educated, hard-working, resourceful, industrious, charismatic and intelligent women turning themselves into statistics in a bid to justify their desperation. They under charge themselves to men that would have gladly worshiped the floor they walk on if only they have a proper understanding of their worth and value.

The reason for the desperation in women and young ladies is the pressure they allow the society, culture, religion, family, friends and their personal needs to put on them. Being desperate for a boyfriend, fiance and husband is the surest way to mess up every chance of having a happy and healthy relationship/marriage. For desperation makes a person to relinquish all the power, control and individuality necessary to earn the respect and love of another person. Even if a desperado succeeds in getting a man to marry her, the possibility of the man abusing her is high for he will not respect her.

Women are so powerful and important, but a wrong mentality can reduce us from queens into slaves. Who says a woman is not more than her biological clock? What and who makes women think it's alright not to have self identify and value as long as they are married? Since when did toxic and abusive marriages become a better option to remaining single? Why are women made to feel being single and happy is a taboo? Why are women made to feel being abused and dehumanized in an abusive marriage is better than leaving and finding a better life for herself?

So many whys, I'm shaking with emotions here. A lot of women are allowing so many misconceptions to stop them from enjoying their lives. From living a fabulous life without the baggage of societal criticism. We have to stop living unhappy lives for other people that do not count and start living the life of our dreams. A life of conviction, of purpose, value, worth and dignity. Then, when a woman finds a worthy man or he finds her, she can join her light to his and produce a multiplying ripple effect. Until then, let her light shine, blessing others. It's better than joining her light with that of a loser, only for her light to be put out, rendering her useless.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!