HOSEI WOMEN - MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO END VIOLENCE

We need to stop minding our own business when we witness domestic violence and abuse. Domestic violence/abuse is everyone's business. Abuse exists in every neighbourhood and it has nothing to do with social-economic status or educational level. Abuse is an unpleasant topic most of us would prefer to believe does not exist. We don't want to admit that abuse exists in our families, neighbourhood, churches, mosques and even in our own marriages. The first step we all need to take is to decide that domestic violence/abuse is unacceptable. Being able to admit and accept that abuse is happening to you is the first step towards self liberation for a victim.

Many victims of abuse suffer in silence because of the shame that is usually attached to domestic violence. So instead of speaking out and getting help, they silently endure the abuse. With time, they stop resisting the abuse and become numb to it. Before a victim can overcome the experience of domestic violence/abuse, they need to know how to stop the vicious cycle of abuse they find themselves in.

Most victims return to their abusers eight to eleven times before they finally get out for good. It takes a process of time and events to be free from abuse. A victim needs to build courage before he/she will be able to stand against the abuse and walk away from it. Until the needed courage is built, the victim will not be able to make up his/her mind about whether to leave the abuser or not. However, once the victim has succeeded in building enough courage within, it would become possible to arrive at a decisive decision to take no more abuse and leave if that's the only way to put a stop to it.

Like I said earlier, leaving an abusive relationship/marriage does not necessarily mean the victim will stay away from the abuser for good. It takes a strong personal conviction and decision to leave an abusive relationship/marriage without looking back. What the victim needs before arriving at this stage is a strong and understanding support system.

I have learnt not to casually tell a victim to leave his/her abusive marriage, even though I'm aware they are thinking of doing so already. This is because I'm very conscious and aware of the deliberation involved in taking that bold, difficult and courageous step.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!