HOSEI WOMEN - DISCRIMINATION AGAINST VICTIMS MUST STOP

Many victims of domestic violence/abuse stay with their abusive partners because of fear of retribution. If they leave, they know they may be harmed, killed or condemned to a life not fit for even an animal. Some victims know how vicious their abusers can be and they fear that if they leave the abusive marriage, they might lose their children. Some are afraid that their abusive partners will hunt them down no matter where they run to and make life miserable for them.

A lot of times we wonder aloud why abused women stay on in abusive relationships/marriages. They stay because they cannot bear to consider living the kind of life they will be subjected to live if they leave. Even though they will only have to live "that life" for only a short while, till they find their feet and create the life of their dreams, fear keeps them from realizing this. Some fear they will lose their children to their abusive spouse if they leave, who might transfer the abuse on the children. Some are afraid they will be left to bear the financial responsibility over the children without any financial or material assistance from their abusive partners if they leave.

Some victims are black listed, ex-communicated and ostracized in the society, religious/social organizations and by mutual friends, because of the lies told by their abusers against them after they summoned the courage to leave. Some victims, once they leave, are no longer regarded or given any form of support or accorded friendly gestures by people they know. They are left to feel deserted, lonely and alone. Victims need to be understood and not judged for deciding to stay for however long they remain with their abusers.

Unfortunately, even our legal and social system often give up on victims when they choose to stay with their abusers, or keep going back to them. We really need to change our discriminatory attitudes towards victims that leave their abusive marriages and support them anyway we can. They truly need support. The good news is that most victims eventually leave their abusers for good. We need to understand that leaving an abusive relationship/marriage is a process, not an event.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!