HOSEI YOUTH SCHOLARSHIP FEEDBACK - MUTIYAT

I thank God Almighty for keeping me alive and for making me one of the beneficiaries of HOSEI. Being one of the HOSEI beneficiaries makes me proud and makes me happy because I was able to learn a vocational skill and I really enjoyed the place because my boss is very lovely and teaches us diligently.

Whenever I use my skill at home or elsewhere, people praise me and my boss. They can't believe that in just six months, I have learnt and become so good. This makes me so proud of myself.

HOSEI WOMEN - I AM NOT DISADVANTAGED

There is a tendency to feel disadvantaged in life when we have one personal issue or the other that has not measured up to our expectation. It could be in our professional life, marital life, financial stability, health, child bearing, family problems, mental issues, spiritual well-being, workplace rivalry, body image and so on. Whatever might be causing you to feel disadvantaged is a distraction from experiencing and enjoying the fullness of your fabulous life.

You are not disadvantaged in anyway. For it's the combination of the positives and the negatives in your life that make you who you are. Everything in your life is a blessing and not a curse. While we strive to improve on and eradicate whatever is toxic to our well-being, we are not supposed to consider the presence of such toxic things/people or the occurrence of a negative event in our lives as a disadvantage. We might not be able to understand the reason(s) for their presence in our lives, we might not be able to see the total picture of events in our lives, but we should never, even in ignorance, consider ourselves disadvantaged compared to other people, because of the situation of our lives.

HOSEI YOUTH SCHOLARSHIP FEEDBACK - BUKOLA

 

I am ADEBUKOLA AJIBIKE a beneficiary of Human of Substance Empowerment Initiative (HOSEI). Being among this set of beneficiaries is a great privilege I never thought or imagined, thanks to God Almighty.

I was so excited when I was given the six months scholarship for vocational training of my choice, all I ever thought of was to be employed and get paid after my SSCE but HOSEI gave me a suitable time for doing a particular thing (skill). 

HOSEI YOUTH SCHOLARSHIP FEEDBACK - GBENGA

 

All gratitude is unto the Lord for His infinite mercy. If it had not been the Lord on my side, what can I say? I acknowledge my mentor, sponsor, dream booster & honorable president of Human of Substance Empowerment Initiative, Barr. Abiade Abiola.

I’m honored to give this testimony. Right before I got the opportunity of becoming a HOSEI Beneficiary, life used to be an imaginary vision, an unreal dream. I knew it could actually become reality but only with the type of support HOSEI has rendered. Being inquisitive was my first learning after the first mentoring class we had at HOSEI. I later learnt about life issues, social graces, etc. Mentoring class has made me realize that being creative is thinking beyond the box, it has impacted in me principles, morals & character making me assimilate more on connection & networking, etiquette, courtesy, patriotism, self confidence, relationship, the champion in me, communication and lots more. Furthermore, I learnt about time consciousness, never to surrender to obstacles or hindrances.

HOSEI WOMEN - LIFE TEACHES LESSONS

It's upsetting, to say the least when one's well planned and laid out life is disrupted by the deception, carelessness, irresponsibility and misdeeds of another person we gave access into our lives out of love/trust. A lot of us have well defined ideas of how we want our lives to be. The careers we want, the kind of husband/wife we want, how many children we want, the standard of living we want, the type of lifestyle we want for our nuclear family, how your religious life should play out, the position we want to occupy in our spouse's life and so on. 

Then we meet someone we believe, or are made to believe, wants exactly what we want. We fall head over heels in love and get married with excitement and expectation. Only for some of us to discover that the person we married had deceived us. I'm not talking about minor white lies that have no major consequences, but about life altering, morale killing, destiny destroying and covenant nullifying deception. Deception of identify, of fulfilling the marriage vows, of character, of lifestyle, of religious standing, of background, etc. 

HOSEI WOMEN - LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF

No matter how strong and positive we are as human beings, there will be times we will feel tired, discouraged and weak. Times we'll feel the whole world is against us and nothing we do can ever be good enough. Times we will feel like a failure. Times we feel drained, and weary of all the challenges life throws our way. Times you might feel ugly even though you're beautiful. Times you'll feel helpless and hopeless even though help and hope are just around the corner.

It's okay to feel off once in a while. Or more than once in a while. There are many reasons for this. It can be hormonal, psychological, emotional, mental, financial, spiritual and relational. Whatever might be causing unrest and dissatisfaction in your life is definitely not hopeless or without remedy. You will overcome and rejoice at the appointed time. You'll not perish in that situation. Your enemies plans will not prevail over your life. Just stay claim and positive. Never say anything negative or contrary in that bad situation you find yourself. Proclaim only what you want to see and experience. Act in line with your confession. 

HOSEI WOMEN - MAKE ROOM

Don't be surprised when people do things you don't expect from them. Have you never done things that you are surprised or shocked at doing? If you can surprise and shock yourself by some of the things you've done in your life, why should you place other people on a pedestal? 

Human beings are flawed. Nobody is perfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Keeping this truth at the back of our minds when relating with other people will really help us in having the right perspectives, right and realistic expectations. I'm talking especially to people that trust easily. It's not a bad thing to trust other people, but you have to be very careful and cautious in giving your trust so easily. Or else people will take advantage of you.

HOSEI WOMEN - ENJOY YOUR LIFE

I witnessed today, a woman that worked with her husband for over twenty years to build his business (before he threw her out of his house), start her own business, and my eyes welled up with tears of sorrow, pride and joy. Tears of sorrow because she has been cheated from enjoying the fruits of the labour of love she invested on her husband and his business. Tears of sorrow because I'm sure she didn't know when she was labouring over her husband's business that he would one day throw her out of his house and business, without a dime to her name.

Tears of sorrow because she had been paid evil for the good she did. According to her, she never received a salary for the twenty years she worked with the husband. She was in charge of the shop where the daily sales ran into hundreds of thousands of Naira, and she never took his money. She felt the money was for the family (the husband, children and herself), and since the husband was performing his responsibilities at home and to the children, he was taking care of her needs too, so there was no reason to take money for herself, ask for a salary or anything like that.

HOSEI YOUTH SCHOLARSHIP FEEDBACK - ADEOLA

My name is Adeola Moses, a beneficiary of Human of Substance Empowerment Initiative's skill scholarship scheme.

First, I am very happy that the founder of HOSEI gave us the opportunity to express our opinion on what being a part of this initiative has been like. 

HOSEI WOMEN - YOUR LIFE IS PRECIOUS

Your life is precious and should be protected. You have the responsibility of protecting your life from harm and destruction, even from the misdeeds of loved ones. In life, loved ones sometimes knowingly or unknowingly expose us to danger. An example of such exposure is when a man or woman enter into a love affair with a person despite the fact that he/she is married to another. Such boyfriend or girlfriend sometimes see the legal husband /wife of their lover as a threat. A threat to their love and happily ever after with the unfaithful partner. 

Because of this, many of such lovers sometimes go to any length to clear out of the way the legal wife/husband. Some legal husbands and wives have been sent to early graves by jealous boyfriends and girlfriends of their spouses. Some have been made insane/mad through diabolical means, open confrontation and abuse. Some have lost their lives in the hands of assassins and men from the under-world. Some have lost lucrative jobs and positions in their work place. The reputation and character of some have been assassinated and dragged in the mud by their spouse's vindictive lovers, all for the purpose of claiming a permanent position in the life of the unfaithful spouse. 

HOSEI WOMEN - LISTEN

 

A lot of relationships are destroyed daily because people fail to listen to one another. A lot of misunderstandings and misconceptions are allowed to grow into full blown discord because we do not want to listen to the point of view of the other person(s). A lot of hearts are broken because we allow pride to stop us from listening. Children and wards are rebelling because parents and guardians are refusing to listen. They still consider the young person as a child that must listen to instructions and obey without questions. Any attempt to express a contrary opinion or different preference is resisted and condemned. Young people are dying inside because they are denied the right to have and express their views and wishes. They are left with no choice but to either stay true to themselves and rebel or succumb to pressure and be oppressed by the very people that should have their back.

Wives and husbands are left with no choice but to rebel and fall out of love because their partners are refusing to listen. They fail to listen to the cry to be loved, to be understood, to be supported, to be respected, to be carried along, etc. Bosses are losing hard working and committed workers because they fail to listen. Listen to the pleadings for more money, better working conditions, respect, time off and so on. Employees are losing very lucrative jobs because they fail to listen to the specific requirements and instructions of their employers. 

HOSEI WOMEN - TOUGH LOVE

Tough love is true love. As unpalatable as tough love sometimes is, its value and worth cannot be quantified. It takes true love to give tough love, either to yourself or someone else. When I see people shying away from telling or enforcing the truth in the name of love, I get sad. This is because true love sometimes is tough love. True love will be tough if and when need be. No matter how bitter, unwanted and heartbreaking the truth is, real love will say it and stand by it. Not to hurt and damage, but to hurt and heal.

I remember a time when I unknowingly stepped on a rusty nail. The people around me when this happened wanted to apply a fire-hot knife with palm oil on the tiny opening of the wound to treat it, but I blatantly refused. I was so scared of the pain I would feel if I allowed it. I was warned of the danger of leaving the foot untreated, but I didn't heed to the warning. I felt the repercussion of not allowing the application of a hot knife to my flesh cannot be as bad as the pain I would feel if I allowed it.

HOSEI WOMEN - WHAT WILL BE, WILL BE

It's not easy to let go when one is still in love or committed to a person that wants to leave. It's like being asked to rip one's heart out while still conscious. Like dying over and over again yet still breathing. But I have come to realize that no matter how good and sweet love is between two people, when it goes cold for one of the parties, it can never be the same for the other party still in love. The only way that relationship will continue to be the same is by the party in denial holding unto the memory of the way things used to be before one of them lost interest, to let go.

While it might not be easy to walk away from a relationship one is still very much interested in, it's something that must be done if the other party has lost interest or commitment to the relationship. Staying on when one is no longer wanted or valued will only take away one's self respect, dignity and pride. At most, (if the party who has lost interest lacks conscience) such a person will be relegated to be the side bae/chick, to be used and discarded at will.

HOSEI WOMEN - MARRIAGEABLE AGE

Marriage is to be entered into by adults who have found a suitable marriage partner that they love and who loves them in return. Marriage has nothing to do with age. It's high time we stopped pressuring single men and women to get married when they have not found someone they can marry just because of their age.

There is no limit or end to "marriageable age". 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50 etc are all marriageable ages. While we hope and pray to be satisfied early, the age for our satisfaction differ. We sincerely have no control over when we will meet a suitable person that we'll love and will return our feelings, but that doesn't mean we should settle for anyone out of desperation.

HOSEI WOMEN - HUMAN RIGHTS 2

When we lack knowledge, we fall prey to a lot of destructive circumstances in life. As human beings, especially women, it's necessary to know the stand of the law on women's human rights and how to ensure a good life by living in the consciousness of these rights. It's a great concern to many that women are deprived of their human rights. Majority of our people think that the issue of women's human rights is a propaganda blown out of proportion, and this is because of religious and cultural inclination.

The lives of Nigerian women is yet to attain the level of dignity and respect their human rights accord them. Women rank lower than men in all indices of development in the country. Despite the fact that the rights of women are spelt out in the Nigerian Constitution, these rights are just theoretical postulations without any practical bearing on the realities of the lives and conditions of Nigerian women.

HOSEI WOMEN - HUMAN RIGHTS

Rights, one of the free gifts in life. 

 
*Rights to universal enjoyment of Human rights, non-discrimination and recognition before the law.  
*Rights to human and personal security.

*Economic, social and cultural rights. 
*Rights to expression, opinion and association. 
*Freedom of movement and asylum. 
*Rights of participation in cultural and family life. 
*Rights of Human Rights Defenders. 
*Rights of redress and accountability.

What are your plans to enjoy your human rights to the fullest this year? Like every other thing in life, it is the demand we place on the enjoyment of our human rights that will determine whether we'll have access to their enjoyment.

HOSEI WOMEN - TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Black people, especially Nigerians, are superstitious people. We believe that there are hidden spiritual intonations and manipulation for any misfortune or challenge we face. If a person doesn't get married early because of his/her inability to find a suitable mate, we'll say maybe it's because of a "spirit husband/wife". The person or his/her loved ones will be advised and pressurized to seek spiritual/diabolical help.

If a couple experience delay in child birth, suggestions and insinuations from friends and family will conclude that it's a spiritual attack. In no time, the couple will be 'binding' and 'loosing' their enemies in the spirit realm so that they can get pregnant.

HOSEI WOMEN - GOOD PARENTING

Being a good parent is not easy. To successfully parent our children, we have to have succeeded in giving a good life to ourselves. For us to be able to mentor our children, we have to have a mind of our own. We have to be people of convictions and persuasion. We have to be a people that stand for something. We have to be a person that commands respect and honor. A prosperous and free person, who is under no external manipulation. 

 

For us to be able to earn the respect of our children, our lives have to be respectable, admirable and celebratable. We have to be knowledgeable and skilled in the art of applying acquired knowledge. For us to stay relevant to our children, we have to learn not to impose our views, expectations and beliefs on them, but to, in love, show them the right way early as we walk in the way.

HOSEI WOMEN - STAY TRUE TO YOUR BELIEF

 

I have come to realize that in life, right/good and wrong/bad is subjective outside religious beliefs. In a particular religion, what is accepted as good and what is accepted as bad are well defined by the religious books. However, we have in the world, many different religions with different, sometimes contradicting beliefs. We also have people that are not practicing any religion whatsoever. The standard used to determine whether something is right/good or wrong/bad is influenced by a person's personal beliefs, religious or non religious.

It's therefore wise for people of the same belief to marry one another. There will be no conflict of beliefs whatsoever if this is done. Probably, there will be no more divorces also. For the man and woman will have no issues with one another's lifestyle, choices and behaviour. Even if they have issues with anything, it will be easily resolved with the application of their mutual belief system. A lot of conflicts, problems and disappointments will be avoided if everyone will make a commitment to marry someone with the same or very similar beliefs as to what is right/good and what is wrong/bad.

HOSEI WOMEN - STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF

The first time I discovered that my ex had been sexually unfaithful to me, I felt like the earth had collapsed under me. I didn't see it coming at all, though I should have, with all his long periods away from home. I'm aware that people have different views on the issue of sexual faithfulness in marriage. I know for sure that everyone wants a faithful partner/ spouse, both men and women. However, most people are of the school of thought that it is not possible for a man to be sexually faithful to his wife.

I beg to disagree with that belief. It might not be common, it might be rare, but I know of men that are sexually faithful to their partners. Some of these sexually faithful men chose to be faithful because of religious belief. Some are faithful because of personal choice/principle/conviction. And there are men that are sexually faithful to their wives because of their wives. They know they will lose her if they ever cheat on her, and they do not want that to ever happen. They love and cherish their wives too much to allow that to happen.

HOSEI WOMEN - HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy new year friends! The new year 2016 has finally come. Twelve months of daily blank cheques to be filled with our expectations, beliefs, hopes, aspirations, decisions, determination, relationships and so on. I encourage us to take responsibility for the year and all we desire to happen in it. While we trust God to answer our prayers and meet us at the point of our needs, nothing can be done in our lives without our consent, agreement and active participation. No matter how much God loves us, and believe me, He does, so very much, He will not force His blessings and help on us except we ask and accept them.

We have made ourselves incapacitated by culture, religion and wrong doctrines so much that we have totally neglected to be responsible for our own lives. Leaving our lives to the control of other people and chance is not the way to live a healthy life. While it's okay to respect the wishes and opinions of loved ones and people generally, we are supposed to have the final say over our lives. What we want matters.  What we think counts.  And if our lives are not reflecting our wants, and thoughts, and beliefs, and convictions, then there is a problem. No one like that can be truly at peace and fulfilled. And no matter how long we blame others for our unhappiness, we are to be blamed for it. For we are our primary responsibility.