HOSEI WOMEN - LISTEN

 

A lot of relationships are destroyed daily because people fail to listen to one another. A lot of misunderstandings and misconceptions are allowed to grow into full blown discord because we do not want to listen to the point of view of the other person(s). A lot of hearts are broken because we allow pride to stop us from listening. Children and wards are rebelling because parents and guardians are refusing to listen. They still consider the young person as a child that must listen to instructions and obey without questions. Any attempt to express a contrary opinion or different preference is resisted and condemned. Young people are dying inside because they are denied the right to have and express their views and wishes. They are left with no choice but to either stay true to themselves and rebel or succumb to pressure and be oppressed by the very people that should have their back.

Wives and husbands are left with no choice but to rebel and fall out of love because their partners are refusing to listen. They fail to listen to the cry to be loved, to be understood, to be supported, to be respected, to be carried along, etc. Bosses are losing hard working and committed workers because they fail to listen. Listen to the pleadings for more money, better working conditions, respect, time off and so on. Employees are losing very lucrative jobs because they fail to listen to the specific requirements and instructions of their employers. 

Religious organizations are losing their followers because they fail to listen to the earnest cries for understanding and support in the face of controversial situations that could have been resolved amicably, if only they listen. Religious    followers are losing the connection to their roots because they fail to listen to the words of wisdom and caution of their elders and leaders, out of hurt, confusion and pain. Governments are failing the governed by not listening to them. The people are disillusioned and upset because they are not listening to the leaders they have chosen to lead them. Friends are separated and they turn into each other's sworn enemies because they fail to listen to one another. A lot of heart aches, pains, sorrow, regrets, bitterness, trouble and all sorts of negative things can be avoided if only we listen. If only we listen and hear each other out. 

I'm not only talking about the physical act of staying quiet as another person speaks, but the act of also painstakingly listening with the heart to the words spoken, the words left unsaid, the facial expressions, body language, messages in the eyes, in the touch, and every other means of communication. Listen. 

Listen to understand. Listen to help. Listen to assist. Listen to make better, listen to support, listen to comply. Listen in love.
There is no way we'll mess up the good relationships in our lives, if we cultivate the positive and productive habit of listening to the spoken and expressed words of the people we're in relationship with. I know it can be hard and unappealing to listen to another person at times, especially when what is being said is not convenient to comply with, or contrary to one's wishes, but not listening will only make matters worse. The best approach is to listen, express your own views and negotiate a compromise by giving and accepting concessions.

I made a terrible mistake of not listening to a dear friend recently and she is not speaking with me again. I'm at my wit end trying to make up for my blunder for I cherish my relationship with her a lot. I've wasted precious time and money trying to make up with her and I'm yet to succeed even as I write. All these troubles only because I failed to listen. Not listening to loved ones when they are trying to pass across a message we do not want to hear (probably because it's contrary to what we want) can be very costly. It's definitely not worth the pain it will bring. In any healthy relationship, compromises must be made, concessions negotiated and freedom of expression respected. 

Yesterday, I reconciled a daughter that ran away from home since early December last year with her mother. After a long period of counseling, we discovered she ran away because her mother wasn't listening to her wishes concerning her life and future. I had to sit the mother down and counsel her. I made her realize that she'll lose her daughter forever if she doesn't listen to her.

Listen. We've got to listen. That's the way to go if we want to keep and preserve healthy relationships in our lives. If we want to keep our loved ones in our lives, we've got to listen. 

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!