Tuesday 12 January 2016

HOSEI WOMEN - MARRIAGEABLE AGE


Marriage is to be entered into by adults who have found a suitable marriage partner that they love and who loves them in return. Marriage has nothing to do with age. It's high time we stopped pressuring single men and women to get married when they have not found someone they can marry just because of their age.

There is no limit or end to "marriageable age". 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50 etc are all marriageable ages. While we hope and pray to be satisfied early, the age for our satisfaction differ. We sincerely have no control over when we will meet a suitable person that we'll love and will return our feelings, but that doesn't mean we should settle for anyone out of desperation.

Why are we pressurizing people to go into marriage because of their age? Why are we allowing ourselves to be put under pressure? There is no point in going into something that will either destroy one's life or cause unnecessary obstacles on one's journey in life, just because one rushed into it on the ground of attaining "marriageable age". Nothing good can come out of marriage alliances that are entered into out of desperation. Such will only give sorrow, pain,  disasters, sufferings, abuse and disappointment.

No one should go into marriage for the sake of being married. If the purpose of a thing is not known or respected, abuse is inevitable. I see unmarried people desperately looking for anyone to marry because of internal and external pressures,  and I weep inside of me. I've been there. Had to deliver myself from such pressures, especially the one that is in-born. For years, I belittled all I have going for me because I failed to meet a suitable person to marry. At the same time, I carried about the weight of the frustration of not being able to settle for just anyone. I was torn into two by my desire to please my loved ones, my need for a partner and my desire to wait till I meet the one I find suitable as a partner.

The only thing that has kept me from the mistake of succumbing to the pressure to remarry is the knowledge of the truth that marriage is worthless if not entered into with the right person and the right motive(s). Don't go into marriage to avoid the pressure to marry/remarry from friends and family. Don't go into an "anyhow marriage" to ease your sense of loneliness and need. Don't go into marriage because you're afraid you'll soon pass the child bearing age. It's not worth it. You might regret it. Go into marriage only when you find a suitable person that loves you and you love right back.

And for those that have been married before and are hoping to remarry (like myself), don't be afraid to try again. No man or woman are the same. That you had it tough the first time, doesn't mean you won't find a good partner if you just give yourself the chance to believe. It will be done to you according to your belief. However, when you decide to go into another relationship/marriage, please go into it with the right motives and reasons. Don't do it out of desperation or out of being pressurized into it. You know by experience how horrible marriage can be with the wrong person or motive. Don't make the same mistake twice.

There is no age that one cannot get married. It all depends on when the right person comes along. The period of waiting should be used to put in place things that will make the time of meeting the "right person" more happy, fulfilling and beautiful. Our time of satisfaction might differ, we will all however be satisfied at the right time. A good man/woman is worth waiting for. They are the ones that produce good and fulfilling marriages.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!

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