It's upsetting, to say the least when one's well planned and
laid out life is disrupted by the deception, carelessness,
irresponsibility and misdeeds of another person we gave access into our
lives out of love/trust. A lot of us have well defined ideas of how we want our
lives to be. The careers we want, the kind of husband/wife we want, how
many children we want, the standard of living we want, the type of
lifestyle we want for our nuclear family, how your religious life should
play out, the position we want to occupy in our spouse's life and so
on.
Then we meet someone we believe, or are made to believe,
wants exactly what we want. We fall head over heels in love and get
married with excitement and expectation. Only for some of us to discover that the person we married
had deceived us. I'm not talking about minor white lies that have no
major consequences, but about life altering, morale killing, destiny
destroying and covenant nullifying deception. Deception of identify, of fulfilling the marriage vows, of character, of lifestyle, of religious standing, of background, etc.
While it has been decreed that what God has joined
together, no one should put asunder, the two parties in a marriage are
given allowance to decide to put asunder a union based on lies,
deception, manipulation, abuse, torture and injustice. Some people are of the opinion that marriage is forever, no
matter what. But most of the people with this opinion are those that are
fortunate to have a good or manageable union, so it's convenient for
them to have such a mindset. But for those that find unbearable the lies, deception,
injustices (and so on) they find in their marriage, especially when the
liable spouse is not remorseful and unrepentant, life need not come to an
end.
You can savage your life from destruction. There is hope
for you. The future is bright. Your dreams can still come true. Don't
give up. Don't settle for whatever you don't want in your life. Just because someone you're married to is refusing to meet
your needs, does not mean you should give up on those needs. Stand for
what you want. Your opinion matters. Your needs are equally important.
You should have a say over your life. Speak out and say what you want. If you're ignored, step it up a notch. Back up your speech with actions, so that you'll be taken serious.
If all fails, then take your life into your hands and go
after your dreams and destiny. There is no marriage in heaven. We all
met on earth and we are all leaving this earth individually. So your
life is your responsibility. Don't sacrifice it for anyone. Don't
destroy your life for anybody. Don't make your life worthless for no
one. For true love will not demand this of you. True love will respect your wishes, your needs, your life and well-being. Can two work together except they agree?
Life is a gift to be shared with people that will add value
to you and you to them. There is no relationship that should be a "do
or die affair", including marital relationships. It's either you make it
work or parties should go their different ways. And when you leave a failed relationship/marriage, know for sure that
it's the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Another chance to do
things right. To make better choices and access higher opportunities. You are not less valuable. You are not used or second
hand. Throw away such mentality into the dustbin. You are a refined
vintage person, meant for the best of the best personalities. A royal,
matured and groomed individual that has been prepared by experience for a
greater future. That's who you are.
So, throw out the bitterness, regrets, shame, doubts and
fear. See your bad experiences as training programs you had to go
through and pass through to get to your throne, to fulfill your dreams
and be a source of inspiration to others going through similar tough
times.
Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!
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