It is generally believed that women are more vulnerable to abuse than men. While this is true, a lot of men are being abused by their wives. The statistics of women subjected to domestic abuse is higher than those of men but men are no less vulnerable to abuse. Infact, recent records show a rise in the number of men suffering from domestic abuse in their marriages. It's very difficult if not impossible for men to prove that they are being abused by their wives to outsiders. Because the abuse such men are subjected to are often emotional, mental,and psychological abuse (though some are physically abused by their wives.) The scars and damage are internal and not external. So there nothing physical to support their claim, especially for men that have imposing stature and look. People judging by their look will find such allegation laughable and ridiculous.
And it is the fear of such reaction that compel most male victims to keep the abuse to themselves. They hide it from all except for the few close family members and friends that are privileged to witness the abusive behavior of the wife towards her husband. Men like that do not have a say over the affairs of the home. The woman rules and reigns over all. The wishes and expressed desire of the man is irrelevant. The woman uses the children as emotional weapons of battle against the man, to control and manipulate him. The man lacks freedom of movement and association. He is turned into a wimp, always to be at the beck and call of the woman whether he wants to or not.
The wife denies the man freedom to have his family members come over to visit. She sends them away with her nasty behavior, blatantly showing through words and actions that they are not welcomed. Such an abusive wife uses her body as a bait to trap the husband into doing things against his wish, depriving him of his human right of free will. Instead of giving her body to him as an expression of love, she sells her body for the price of his human rights.
Such abusive wife takes advantage of the man's good nature. His good efforts and sacrifices are never appreciated. Whatever the man does is not good enough. The abuser takes advantage of the man's weaknesses, his fear, his needs and uses them to suppress, oppress and control him. Such abusive women take advantage of the credible and worthy fight for women's human rights to manipulate the public into overlooking their abusive relationship with the abused husband, igniting undue controversy and damaging the cause of the struggle for women liberation from human rights violations.
Abuse has many faces. Sometimes it has the face of a man. At times, it has the face of a woman. It has a young face, old face, black face, white face and so on. That is why the issue of abuse is not a gender issue. Both men and women can be victims of abuse. Both men and women can also be the perpetrator of abuse. We have to stop being sentimental and start addressing the problem of abuse rationally. We must let go of personal biases and prejudices and stand against abuse, no matter the gender, position, age, color and justification of the perpetrators. It is time to change our sentiments, preconceived beliefs, tradition, culture and religious doctrines to conform with equity and justice.
It is high time we effect the much needed change for the preservation of the sanity and order in our homes and the society at large.
Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!
No comments:
Post a Comment