HOSEI WOMEN - TYPES OF ABUSE

Someone sent a message to my inbox asking what financial/economic abuse is.

This question made me realize the necessity of discussing the meaning of abuse and the types abusers inflict on their victims.

Domestic abuse, also called spousal abuse occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse has only one purpose, and that is to gain and maintain total control over the victim. Abusers use fear, guilt, shame and intimidation to wear the victim down and keep him/her under their thumb. Domestic violence/abuse occurs within all ages, range, ethnic backgrounds and economic levels. Women are commonly victims of domestic abuse, but men are sometimes victims too.

While the aim of the various types of abuse is the same (to control and dominate), the methods vary. An Abuser can abuse his/her victim in one or two ways. It's even possible for the abuser to violate and abuse the victim with all the different types of abuse. 

Physical Abuse

This is the use of physical force that may result in bodily injury, physical pain or impairment. Physical abuse is an act of a person intended to cause physical suffering and bodily harm to the victim. It may include, but is not limited to, such acts of violence as striking (with or without an object), hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, shaking, slapping, kicking, pinching, burning and strangling.  There isn't a "better" or "worse" form of physical abuse. A victim can be severely injured or killed as a result of being pushed for example.

Emotional Abuse

This is a process where the abuser manipulates the victim's emotions negatively for his/her satisfaction and to the detriment of the victim's well being. When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture battered women who have been physically assaulted. The reality is, not all abusive relationships involve violence. Just because a victim is not battered and bruised does not mean the victim is not being abused. Many men and women suffer from emotional abuse, which is no less destructive. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often minimized or overlooked, even by the person being abused.

The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at the feelings of self worth and independence of the victim. A victim of emotional abuse often feel that there is no way out of the relationship, or that without the abuser, they are nothing. This kind of abuse leads to anxiety, depression, and makes the victim feel helpless and alone. Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name calling, blaming, shaming, isolation, intimidation and controlling behavior.

Though the scars of a victim of physical abuse can be seen, the scars of a victim of emotional abuse cannot be seen. It's however as real and they run deep.

I didn't suffer physical violence in my failed marriage (something I always bless the name of God for. I cannot imagine how it would have been considering how totally damaged I was by the different but equally harmful abuses my ex subjected me to), but my ex was an expert in emotional abuse. By the time I was a few months into the marriage, I had lost every sense of self worth. And please, you must understand that this is something I never thought possible. I've always had a very healthy self image, as a result of serving in one capacity or the other.

I'll discuss the other types of abuse I encountered in my failed marriage before I go into details about the emotional abuse I suffered. Join me tomorrow for the concluding part of this article.

Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!